Not too bad for a first-timer
Being an extreme introvert, I generally are not thrilled by new experience. I am a creature of habit and familiarity, especially when it comes to social situations. First time backpacking, first time visiting boyfriend's family, first time living in a stilt house with an ethnic minority family, all those first times gave me anxiety. So when I know Im going to be a Teaching Assistant for the first time, not only I didn't know what to expect, but I went in with a dislike for the job. My previous attempt at being a teacher never went well. I have tried teaching English to both adults and children, I don't know how they felt, but I didn't like teaching. Worse still, before I left for Canada, I applied for teaching positions in four English centers, and failed all four. The recruiters, who are teachers themselves, said I don't display enthusiasm, my voice is too flat and monotone, I don't have good structure for my lesson, or in general, I am too boring to be an English teacher.
Naturally, my biggest concern when I started this term was being a TA. The very first day, I was accompanied by the lead TA, a big woman with a serious face. She sat at the back, stared at me. I looked up, the room was full of students, mostly girls. It was 9.30am the Monday after 3 weeks of winter break. Everyone looked patient, but tired. The room seemed so big, and I so small. Half way through it, I suddenly realized I had been frozen on my chair with my legs crossed, and my arms rigidly folded on the desk. By the end of the semester, I could comfortably walk around and even casually sit on the desk without feeling too conscious. In the first half of the term, I counted down every tutorial to the reading week; and sometimes felt like the tutorials never end, but by the second half, I found myself write down things I want to change for next year, and things I will say to students. I guess teaching is really a learning experience. Someone says teaching is an experiment, and a classroom is also a lab. It's nice when things turn out great, when questions and materials I prepared are well received by the students; but when my preparation doesn't meet the same level of enthusiasm from students, it really sucks.
I could finally find one thing I like about teaching. When I stand in front of a class, sometimes I could feel the collective energy being formed in the air. It is almost like kindling a fire from wet leaves. If I am careful, if everything is right, the fire will get bigger and bigger, and before we know it, everyone is carried away in an intense debate. I like the feeling of nurturing that fire. But if I pose a wrong question, or a right question at a wrong time, or if I fail to respond adequately to a student, the fire might disappear, just as fast and unexpected as when it starts. The nature of discussion-based tutorials makes it difficult to predict and prepare, which keeps me surprised all the time. Sometimes the same set of questions work very well with one class, and not at all well with another.
I still remembered how I struggle to keep track of time, know what questions to ask next, remember students' name and respond to students all at the same time. By the end, I thought I could manage to do all those tasks quite naturally. Plus, in the first half of the semester, I relied too much on the students to push the tutorial forward, but gradually I realized that I must set the agenda and know clearly what I want them to know, that way even if their answers to my questions are different, I could control what they get out of the tutorials.
I read through the students' evaluation yesterday, and there are a few points I need to jot down for my own record. I notice that in general, good students tend to give me positive feedback, and the ones that circles a lot of negative words such as "unsatisfactory, poor" seem to be not interested in the class themselves. This confirms a psychological theory, which states that people tend to like things they make more efforts in. It goes both ways. You work hard for things you like, and if you already work hard, you will find reasons to like it.
Some good points many of them acknowledge are
- use of videos, images, powerpoint, handouts (they interpreted this as a I am well-prepared)
- friendly and approachable, comfortable learning environment, respect and accept their opinions (I don't know how they get this impression though, some said no one gets judged)
- I am quite surprised that a few students comment on how I know a lot about the topics and the materials. I have been worried almost the whole semester that I don't know much about Canadian society so I can't provide good explanation to the students compared to other TAs. Some students also says they like how I could bring in contemporary examples to demonstrate the concepts. I guess all the time I spent researching and preparing paid off.
Some points I receive negative feedback are
- Explain concepts clearly and thoroughly; well, it's hard to remember how I felt in my first year, because it's already 7 years ago (I will tell students next year to ask, because I may assume they know something they don't)
- Tie each topic to the course as a whole. I am not sure about this myself. I started TA-ing the first day I was on campus, how am I supposed to know what the whole course is like?
- One person commented that "it's hard to understand her fully", and one commented "sometimes hard to understand her accent". I sort of want to tell them I have worked as a simultaneous interpreter for a UN conference. But I guess if only one out of 60 students complains, it's not my problem. Im actually glad that I only know this at the end of the semester, when I have gained enough confidence, otherwise such a feedback might crush me when I first started.
Mixed reactions
- Level of energy: I have been worried about this a lot, because Im not the kind of overtly energetic teacher who jumps up and down, tells jokes and laughs. I hope students will like me because of the knowledge and information I could provide, not the way I provide it. So some say I display good enthusiasm and energy, some say I don't.
- Engage students in discussion: same as above, some say I engage students well, some disagree. I don't know how to do differently than what I have done actually. On the one hand, students don't like to be called on, on the other hand, they don't raise their hands, and expect that I will know the interesting thoughts running in their heads.
- Lead tutorials: Some students think I guide the class very well, some think I need to be more of leader (does this mean to be more aggressive?)
Strange as it is, I actually look forward to meeting new students who I can call mine in September. Yesterday I proctored their exam and it's so cute to see students in my tutorials clustered around me although they can sit anywhere they want. That makes me think of puppies (been watching lots of dogs and cats' videos on Youtube lately). I guess by now I am really someone they know, and writing their exams in the rows I am responsible for provides them a sense of comfort. So I survive another first-time experience. All in all, I believe I will do a better job next year.
Naturally, my biggest concern when I started this term was being a TA. The very first day, I was accompanied by the lead TA, a big woman with a serious face. She sat at the back, stared at me. I looked up, the room was full of students, mostly girls. It was 9.30am the Monday after 3 weeks of winter break. Everyone looked patient, but tired. The room seemed so big, and I so small. Half way through it, I suddenly realized I had been frozen on my chair with my legs crossed, and my arms rigidly folded on the desk. By the end of the semester, I could comfortably walk around and even casually sit on the desk without feeling too conscious. In the first half of the term, I counted down every tutorial to the reading week; and sometimes felt like the tutorials never end, but by the second half, I found myself write down things I want to change for next year, and things I will say to students. I guess teaching is really a learning experience. Someone says teaching is an experiment, and a classroom is also a lab. It's nice when things turn out great, when questions and materials I prepared are well received by the students; but when my preparation doesn't meet the same level of enthusiasm from students, it really sucks.
I could finally find one thing I like about teaching. When I stand in front of a class, sometimes I could feel the collective energy being formed in the air. It is almost like kindling a fire from wet leaves. If I am careful, if everything is right, the fire will get bigger and bigger, and before we know it, everyone is carried away in an intense debate. I like the feeling of nurturing that fire. But if I pose a wrong question, or a right question at a wrong time, or if I fail to respond adequately to a student, the fire might disappear, just as fast and unexpected as when it starts. The nature of discussion-based tutorials makes it difficult to predict and prepare, which keeps me surprised all the time. Sometimes the same set of questions work very well with one class, and not at all well with another.
I still remembered how I struggle to keep track of time, know what questions to ask next, remember students' name and respond to students all at the same time. By the end, I thought I could manage to do all those tasks quite naturally. Plus, in the first half of the semester, I relied too much on the students to push the tutorial forward, but gradually I realized that I must set the agenda and know clearly what I want them to know, that way even if their answers to my questions are different, I could control what they get out of the tutorials.
I read through the students' evaluation yesterday, and there are a few points I need to jot down for my own record. I notice that in general, good students tend to give me positive feedback, and the ones that circles a lot of negative words such as "unsatisfactory, poor" seem to be not interested in the class themselves. This confirms a psychological theory, which states that people tend to like things they make more efforts in. It goes both ways. You work hard for things you like, and if you already work hard, you will find reasons to like it.
Some good points many of them acknowledge are
- use of videos, images, powerpoint, handouts (they interpreted this as a I am well-prepared)
- friendly and approachable, comfortable learning environment, respect and accept their opinions (I don't know how they get this impression though, some said no one gets judged)
- I am quite surprised that a few students comment on how I know a lot about the topics and the materials. I have been worried almost the whole semester that I don't know much about Canadian society so I can't provide good explanation to the students compared to other TAs. Some students also says they like how I could bring in contemporary examples to demonstrate the concepts. I guess all the time I spent researching and preparing paid off.
Some points I receive negative feedback are
- Explain concepts clearly and thoroughly; well, it's hard to remember how I felt in my first year, because it's already 7 years ago (I will tell students next year to ask, because I may assume they know something they don't)
- Tie each topic to the course as a whole. I am not sure about this myself. I started TA-ing the first day I was on campus, how am I supposed to know what the whole course is like?
- One person commented that "it's hard to understand her fully", and one commented "sometimes hard to understand her accent". I sort of want to tell them I have worked as a simultaneous interpreter for a UN conference. But I guess if only one out of 60 students complains, it's not my problem. Im actually glad that I only know this at the end of the semester, when I have gained enough confidence, otherwise such a feedback might crush me when I first started.
Mixed reactions
- Level of energy: I have been worried about this a lot, because Im not the kind of overtly energetic teacher who jumps up and down, tells jokes and laughs. I hope students will like me because of the knowledge and information I could provide, not the way I provide it. So some say I display good enthusiasm and energy, some say I don't.
- Engage students in discussion: same as above, some say I engage students well, some disagree. I don't know how to do differently than what I have done actually. On the one hand, students don't like to be called on, on the other hand, they don't raise their hands, and expect that I will know the interesting thoughts running in their heads.
- Lead tutorials: Some students think I guide the class very well, some think I need to be more of leader (does this mean to be more aggressive?)
Strange as it is, I actually look forward to meeting new students who I can call mine in September. Yesterday I proctored their exam and it's so cute to see students in my tutorials clustered around me although they can sit anywhere they want. That makes me think of puppies (been watching lots of dogs and cats' videos on Youtube lately). I guess by now I am really someone they know, and writing their exams in the rows I am responsible for provides them a sense of comfort. So I survive another first-time experience. All in all, I believe I will do a better job next year.
