Love anniversary (Imported from 360)
There is another month and our second love anniversary will come....
Time goes fast. It seems like just yesterday, when we started saving money so that we could buy something to celebrate the special event-a year after the day you asked me to be your girlfriend. It seems like this morning, when we wandered around dozen of streets looking for a couple of rings. It seems like just an hour after that, I couldn't wait to the "real" day to put it on my finger, and your ring on your neck. And it seems like just few hours ago, we talked and talked about things we would do for the second anniversary, for the third, for the fourth. I smiled silently, cherished our time together. Suddenly, you said " We will celebrate our 10th anniversary with a kid-it's the most wonderful gift for me, darling". I was out of word, happiness filled inside.
It is so sad to think that I will be not able to be by your side this time. We are aparted, but our hearts turn to the other, Honey! I remember we did reach an agreement that for the second year, we would buy two identical T-shirt, and you will be the designer, and I will choose the color. Isn't it too bad that we will not have each other for next four years? I keep imagining what we would do if I were home now, how you would look like, how happy we would be. In my fantasy, it makes me smile no matter what I am doing, but at the same time it makes me feel lonely more than ever. How can it be different, since I can only reach you and see you in my fantasy.
Honey, I have just found out that I can do nothing to reduce my desperate need for you. Sometimes I try to find people that I can talk to, I read, I laugh, I study, but you are still there, in my heart, in my mind. No way! Nothing can be done to wash away your face, your voice, your touch. I decide that is what I have to live with: the fact that I can't call you whenever I want, the fact that I can't see your face no matter how much I miss you, the fact that we are half way around the world far from each other. Without you, I am not capable of enjoy anything fully. When I see something interesting, I think of you and wish you could be here to share it with me. I guess you are happy now, with your new friends, I realize that I have come to the level of a true lover as I feel so pleasant to listen to your story over there, even if it includes some "pretty girls".
Two years we have been together, with all the love, anger, happiness, tears, sadness, disappointment you bring to me. I am blissful sometimes just picking up the phone and hear your tender voice, the kind of voice that I know you only use when talking with me. The road we have gone through is not with all roses and stars and romantic. Loving you, I learn about the whole new different world, I gradually start to view things from your point, and I somehow succeed in appreciating all the disimilarities, not only between a guy and a girl, but also between one who love basketball like crazy, and one who is afraid of being hit by the ball like crazy. Loving you, I realize how hard it is to really get into the world of someone, who is not at all similar to me, who don't get the same education with me, who don't know what I know and don't have what I have. Litterally, I learn how to love when I love you. I am the kind of girl who just receive so much from others, without ever thinking of giving back. You teach me, just by being there, and love me patiently, tenderly, altruistically. Your love for me grows over time, so does mine.
When you said " I can't breath when I think I no longer have you in my life", somehow I understood it was not a metaphor. You said what you felt, and it was true. I could read that from your eyes. That is why once I told you I feel you love me most when I want to break up. You lose your soul, and your vitality. Yep, Honey, I was touched deep inside when I knew I am your soul, I am the reason for your huge change. Many times, I feel like I cound't trust you anymore, but after that I force myself to trust you, again and again. Loving you, I question myself, I question the relationship of human being in general, the process that all of us have to go through. Loving you is not just fun, it is bitter sometimes. But what important is, you not only give me a shoulder to cry on, a shelter when I want to run away from this harsh life, a place to come with the "real" me, where I don't have to be as perfect as possible, whatever you call it, but also a chance to reflect on myself from another perspective and to understand who I really am.
Time goes fast. It seems like just yesterday, when we started saving money so that we could buy something to celebrate the special event-a year after the day you asked me to be your girlfriend. It seems like this morning, when we wandered around dozen of streets looking for a couple of rings. It seems like just an hour after that, I couldn't wait to the "real" day to put it on my finger, and your ring on your neck. And it seems like just few hours ago, we talked and talked about things we would do for the second anniversary, for the third, for the fourth. I smiled silently, cherished our time together. Suddenly, you said " We will celebrate our 10th anniversary with a kid-it's the most wonderful gift for me, darling". I was out of word, happiness filled inside.
It is so sad to think that I will be not able to be by your side this time. We are aparted, but our hearts turn to the other, Honey! I remember we did reach an agreement that for the second year, we would buy two identical T-shirt, and you will be the designer, and I will choose the color. Isn't it too bad that we will not have each other for next four years? I keep imagining what we would do if I were home now, how you would look like, how happy we would be. In my fantasy, it makes me smile no matter what I am doing, but at the same time it makes me feel lonely more than ever. How can it be different, since I can only reach you and see you in my fantasy.
Honey, I have just found out that I can do nothing to reduce my desperate need for you. Sometimes I try to find people that I can talk to, I read, I laugh, I study, but you are still there, in my heart, in my mind. No way! Nothing can be done to wash away your face, your voice, your touch. I decide that is what I have to live with: the fact that I can't call you whenever I want, the fact that I can't see your face no matter how much I miss you, the fact that we are half way around the world far from each other. Without you, I am not capable of enjoy anything fully. When I see something interesting, I think of you and wish you could be here to share it with me. I guess you are happy now, with your new friends, I realize that I have come to the level of a true lover as I feel so pleasant to listen to your story over there, even if it includes some "pretty girls".
Two years we have been together, with all the love, anger, happiness, tears, sadness, disappointment you bring to me. I am blissful sometimes just picking up the phone and hear your tender voice, the kind of voice that I know you only use when talking with me. The road we have gone through is not with all roses and stars and romantic. Loving you, I learn about the whole new different world, I gradually start to view things from your point, and I somehow succeed in appreciating all the disimilarities, not only between a guy and a girl, but also between one who love basketball like crazy, and one who is afraid of being hit by the ball like crazy. Loving you, I realize how hard it is to really get into the world of someone, who is not at all similar to me, who don't get the same education with me, who don't know what I know and don't have what I have. Litterally, I learn how to love when I love you. I am the kind of girl who just receive so much from others, without ever thinking of giving back. You teach me, just by being there, and love me patiently, tenderly, altruistically. Your love for me grows over time, so does mine.
When you said " I can't breath when I think I no longer have you in my life", somehow I understood it was not a metaphor. You said what you felt, and it was true. I could read that from your eyes. That is why once I told you I feel you love me most when I want to break up. You lose your soul, and your vitality. Yep, Honey, I was touched deep inside when I knew I am your soul, I am the reason for your huge change. Many times, I feel like I cound't trust you anymore, but after that I force myself to trust you, again and again. Loving you, I question myself, I question the relationship of human being in general, the process that all of us have to go through. Loving you is not just fun, it is bitter sometimes. But what important is, you not only give me a shoulder to cry on, a shelter when I want to run away from this harsh life, a place to come with the "real" me, where I don't have to be as perfect as possible, whatever you call it, but also a chance to reflect on myself from another perspective and to understand who I really am.
